Turkey Tetrazzini - Crawlin' From The Wreckage

So, did you make it?

Did you survive?

It's a couple of days after Thanksgiving. While not a great time to assess all the damage to home, hearth and cooking reputation, it is time to relax and wind down a bit. I hope all of you ate something other than turkey yesterday. One of the most overrated experiences around is turkey leftovers the next day. They should be prepared today or maybe even Sunday. You want to have a little perspective on the meal before you plunge right back in.

We survived quite well here at Crab Central. Travel adventures and friends planning the wedding of one of their own caused turnout to be very low this year. We embraced this calamity by making a few "odd" things for dinner. We shunned the standard Leek Stuffing and replaced it with a chile pepper-cornbread version. (It didn't sell very well though, not enough gravy sopping ability. But I will post it in the future, since I think it would be great with either pork or beef roasts).

Today I'll offer you another Crabby tradition. I'm talking about Turkey Tetrazzini, that gloppy, soupy, must-go melange of turkey and Thanksgiving veg. Since many of you are off shopping and are "cooked out", I'll give you the cheater's version. Enjoy...


Turkey Tetrazzini
by Crabby

1 Family Size Can (26 oz.) Campbells Cream of Chicken Soup
1 bag Extra wide Egg Noodles (16 oz.)
3/4 to 1 pound chopped leftover turkey
1 red bell pepper, chopped
8 oz. peas (or other leftover veg)
Bread Crumbs
Parmesan Cheese, grated (optional)
Olive Oil

Prepare the egg noodles according to package directions, but undercook them slightly (say, 1 minute less than recommended).

Preheat oven broiler on high.

While the egg noodles are cooking, in a large pot whisk together the condensed cream of chicken soup with a equivalent amount of non-fat (skim) milk. Heat over medium. When the soup is simmering add the chopped turkey, red pepper and peas. Simmer for two minutes.

Drain the cooked egg noodles and mix into the soup. Stir well, but gently, to combine.

Remove soup from heat. Liberally sprinkle the mixture with bread crumbs. If using Parmesan cheese, sprinkle over the bread crumbs.

Drizzle a light layer of olive oil over the bread crumb-cheese layer and place the pot, uncovered, under the broiler.

Broil until the topping begins to brown, depending on the strength of your broiler, anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes.

Remove from oven and serve.


There you go. Comfort food on the cheap while also helping to empty out the fridge of some of those pesky leftovers. It's not haute cuisine, but you'll be surprised how fast it sells, especially with the teenage crowd. Next time we'll get back to "regular" cooking, though I do have to start getting you ready for Christmas. Sigh, a Crab's work is never done.

Until next time, remember, you can do it, you just cooked Thanksgiving dinner.

Thanksgiving Day

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. There's none of the panic about what to get 80-year-old Aunt Martha, none of the resentment for receiving an indifferent gift. There are no smarmy cards with soft focused cupids shooting arrows at lace edged hearts. Thanksgiving is basic, simple.

Thanksgiving is about going home and breaking bread. It doesn't matter if that "home" is a neighbor's, a restaurant or a soup kitchen; it doesn't matter if the family is your own or one you're borrowing for the day. Thanksgiving isn't about what or how we cook, it's about why we cook.

We stress out about recipes, about how much and what to make. We forget that it's not about the food. It's about the older generation passing the organizing and cooking onto the next. It's about adult grandchildren spending long car rides with time short grandparents. It's about college students coming through airport gates looking far older than their parents' memories.

So if you're cooking tomorrow, take a deep breath, have a glass of wine, relax and take the time to listen. No one remembers the Norman Rockwell moments, but we all, through laughing tears, can tell a story of Thanksgiving disaster. From underdone birds with lumpy gravy to Jell-O molds stuffed with shredded lettuce and sour cream, those are the memories that matter and need to be cherished.

I'm going to close with a passage by author Dorothy Allison, about the joys of gravy. This is the opening paragraph from a longer piece that appeared in the October 28, 2007 New York Times Sunday Magazine, (it's reprinted here without permission of the New York Times, the express written consent of Major League Baseball or The National Football League, so this could be my last post for awhile).


Panacea
by Dorothy Allison


Gravy is the simplest, tastiest, most memory-laden dish I know how to make:
a little flour, salt and pepper, crispy bits of whatever meat anchored the
meal, a couple of cups of water or milk and slow stirring to break up lumps.
That's it. It smells of home, the door locked against the night and a stillness
made safe by the sound of a spoon going round in a pan. It is anticipation,
the last thing prepared before the meal comes to the table, the bowl in Mama's
hand closing the day out peacefully, no matter what came before.


So this Thanksgiving I wish you peace and great gravy. Remember, you can do it, this is why you cook.

Thanksgiving Day Prep #8 - Menu & Shopping List

"Luck favors the prepared mind." - Louis Pasteur.

(He actually said, "Chance favors the prepared mind", but we can all stand a little editing.).

OK crablings, game day is almost here. The only way to get through the big event is to have everything ready to go; I'm talking about even mirepoix. So let's get started.

If you don't have turkey yet, get one today. If you pick it up tomorrow, makes sure it's nearly fully thawed. A 15-pound turkey feeds a lot of people depending on the number of sides. But if your 375 pound Uncle Herb from Sheboygan or three college aged males are coming to dinner and you like a lot of leftovers, then go big, just adjust your cooking time.

You'll need things to nibble on during the day prior to dinner. My suggestions are:

A platter of assorted crackers and cheese.

A large batch of Butternut Squash & Apple Soup. Keep it on a low simmer and have a small bowl or two as a break throughout the day.

The Main Event

Brined Roast Turkey
Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Celery Root, Fennel & Potato Mash (alternate)
Leek, Mushroom, Bacon & Buttermilk Bread Stuffing
Bird's Eye Frozen Peas
Braised Brussels Sprouts in Maple-Mustard Sauce (barely acceptable alternate)
Cranberry Sauces
Ocean Spray Jellied Cranberry Sauce (multiple cans)
Gravy

Quick Apple Tart with Ben & Jerry's Vanilla Ice Cream


Thanksgiving is wine hell but here are WWBob's best suggestions:

White Wine: American Gewurztraminer (Fetzer), or Trimbach Hugel from the Alsace
Red Wine: American Pinot Noir (Smoking Loon, Mark West, Bogle or AtoZ), also 2007 Italian Barberas.


As a public service to Crab Nation, I've put together your shopping list:

Butternut Squash Soup
1/2 pound bacon, chopped before cooking
1 medium onion, chopped roughly
1 large leek, white part only, washed well and roughly chopped
1 garlic clove, chopped
1 bay leaf
1 large butternut squash, seeded, peeled and chopped into 1-inch pieces
1 medium tart apple, peeled and roughly chopped
32 ounces chicken stock, approximately
2 TBSP heavy (whipping) cream

Roast Turkey

1 (14 to 16 pound) young turkey, (if frozen, full thaw)

Brine:
1 cup kosher salt
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1 gallon vegetable stock
1 tablespoon black peppercorns
1/2 tablespoon allspice berries
1/2 tablespoon candied ginger
1 gallon ice water

Aromatics:
1 red apple, sliced
1/2 onion, sliced
1 cinnamon stick
1 cup water
4 sprigs rosemary
6 leaves sage
Canola oil


Garlic Mashed Potatoes

2 heads of garlic
1 teaspoon water
1 teaspoon olive oil

1 pound russet or Yukon gold potatoes peeled and roughly diced
3 TBSP Butter
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup cream
Salt


Celery Root, Fennel & Potato Mash

1 large celery root (celeriac), peeled and cut into 2 inch pieces
2 large fennel bulbs (1 1/2 lbs total), stalks discarded, bulbs quartered
1 pound boiling potatoes (2 large), peeled and cut into 2 inch pieces
2 TBSP fresh lemon juice, divided
1 whole star anise, ground
4 large garlic cloves, minced (about 1 1/2 TBSP)
1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
2/3 cup heavy cream
2 TBSP chopped fresh parsley


Leek, Mushroom, Bacon & Buttermilk Stuffing

1 1/2 loaves of store bought buttermilk bread (approx 36 ozs. total), crusts trimmed and cut into 1/2 " cubes
1 pound of sliced bacon, cut into 1/2 " pieces

4 TBSP grapeseed oil
5 cups chopped leeks, (white and a small bit of the green parts), approx. 4 large leeks
1 1/2 pounds button mushrooms cleaned and chopped
12 oz. shitake mushrooms cleaned and chopped
1 cup celery, chopped
1 TBSP dried tarragon
Salt & Pepper to taste
2 large eggs, beaten
1 cup low-sodium chicken broth
2 TBSP butter


Braised Brussels Sprouts in Maple-Mustard Sauce

2 TBSP Olive Oil
1/4 cup minced onion
4 cups (approx. 1 pound) Brussels Sprouts, cleaned and halved lengthwise
Salt to taste
5 TBSP water
1/4 Dijon mustard
2 TBSP good quality Maple Syrup (the real thing if you can get it)
Fresh ground Pepper, to taste


Cranberry Sauces

Cranberry, Quince & Pearl Onion Compote
1/2 lb pearl onions (preferably red; approx 2 cups)
2 cups apple juice or cider
1 cup sugar
2 TBSP cider vinegar
6 cloves
1 tsp coriander seed, ground
2 quinces, peeled, cored and cut into 1/2" cubes
1 (12 oz.) bag of fresh or frozen cranberries (not thawed if frozen)

Cranberry-Tangerine Conserve

2 tangerines (oranges are acceptable in a pinch)
1 (12 oz.) package fresh or frozen cranberries
1 tsp grated peeled ginger
1/2 cup golden raisins (chopped roughly if large)
2/3 cup packed light brown sugar (more if you like a sweeter taste)



Gravy

1 15 lb. Turkey (same one you're making for dinner)
2/3 cup onion roughly chopped
1/3 cup carrots, roughly chopped
1/3 cup celery, roughly chopped
32 ounces, no-salt/low salt chicken or turkey stock/broth
1 14 1/2 oz can of chicken stock (on standby, for thinning purposes)
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
Butter
Salt & Pepper


Quick Apple Tart
1 sheet frozen puff pastry (half of 17 oz package), thawed
3 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and thinly sliced
2 TBSP (1/4 stick) unsalted butter, melted
2 TBSP cinnamon sugar (2 TBSP sugar mixed with scant 1/2 tsp cinnamon)
1/4 cup apricot jam, melted



Assorted Cheese and Crackers
Ocean Spray Jellied Cranberry Sauce
Bird's Eye Frozen Peas
Wine


There you go crablings. Highlight and print off the shopping lists to whichever recipes you're going to prepare. Obviously there is some overlap in recipes, e.g. butter, so combine the lists and go to town.

At some point every great meal hurtles towards disaster. If you're properly prepared it's much easier to keep control of the situation. Remember, you can do it, you can cook Thanksgiving dinner. On Wednesday or Thursday I'll post my Ode to Thanksgiving, until then, get prepping.

Brined Roast Tukey - Thanksgiving Prep #7

Less than a week to go. We're in the home stretch and you can feel the tension building. Time to talk about the turkey.

Over the years I've prepped turkey a lot of different ways: salt encased, syringe injected, maple coated, blah, blah, blah. At the end of the day nothing beats brining the bird. Immersion in a salt solution goes a long way toward achieving the juiciness everyone oohs and aahs about.

You can play with different brine ingredients, but in the end it comes down to liquid, salt, sugar and some spices. Experiment with various choices for liquid and spices. But know this, of all the times I've made brines, the choice among stock, water, apple cider or whatever, usually only makes the subtlest of differences. So don't sweat the details too much.

Today's recipe is from Alton Brown's "Good Eats" television show on the Food Network. This recipe has never failed us! So if you're nervous, follow it to the letter and you'll be OK. If you're adventurous, have at it, though I strongly suggest keeping the proportions the same. It means brining the bird early on Thanksgiving, but it's definitely worth it, please enjoy...


Good Eats Brined Roast Turkey
from "Good Eats" by Alton Brown

1 (14 to 16 pound) young turkey, (if frozen, full thaw)

Brine:
1 cup kosher salt
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1 gallon vegetable stock
1 tablespoon black peppercorns
1/2 tablespoon allspice berries
1/2 tablespoon candied ginger
1 gallon ice water

Aromatics:
1 red apple, sliced
1/2 onion, sliced
1 cinnamon stick
1 cup water
4 sprigs rosemary
6 leaves sage
Canola oil

Combine all brine ingredients, except ice water, in a stockpot, and bring to a boil. Stir to dissolve solids, then remove from heat, cool to room temperature, and refrigerate until thoroughly chilled.

Early on the day of cooking, (at least 6 hours before you start cooking), combine the brine and ice water in a clean 5-gallon bucket. Place thawed turkey breast side down in brine, cover, and refrigerate or set in cool area (like a basement or garage) for 6 hours. Turn turkey over once, half way through brining.

A few minutes before roasting, heat oven to 500 degrees. Combine the apple, onion, cinnamon stick, and cup of water in a microwave safe dish and microwave on high for 5 minutes, (I often skip this part, I just don't think it adds that much flavor).

Remove bird from brine and rinse inside and out with cold water, dry very well with paper towels. Discard brine.

Place bird on roasting rack inside wide, low pan. Add steeped aromatics to cavity along with rosemary and sage. Tuck back wings and coat whole bird liberally with canola (or other neutral) oil.

Roast on lowest level of the oven at 500 degrees F. for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and cover breast with double layer of aluminum foil, insert probe thermometer into thickest part of the breast and return to oven, reducing temperature to 350 degrees F. Set thermometer alarm (if available) to 161 degrees. A 14 to 16 pound bird should require a total of 2 1/2 to 3 hours of roasting, (Brown says 2 to 2 1/2 hours, my 14 pounders are rarely ready before three hours). Let turkey rest, loosely covered for 15 minutes before carving.

While turkey is resting, prepare your gravy.

That's it crablings. The attached pictures are of a turkey breast I prepared a while ago. It takes some work ahead of time, but then there's a lot of standing around sipping wine until the panic of gravy. All in all, it's a very easy recipe.

Remember crablings, you can do it you can cook. On Monday I'll post a plan for the big day.

Braised Brussels Sprouts in Maple-Mustard Sauce - Thanksgiving Prep #6

Alright, let's get this straight right from the start. There is only one acceptable vegetable to serve with Thanksgiving Dinner: Microwaved Frozen Peas (MFP). Not canned or fresh peas. Only microwaved frozen peas. They are a basic requirement; if there was any true justice in this world, it would be a Federal Crime not to serve them.

I've been told that there are some people who don't like peas.

Surely, you're joking.

I'm not joking and stop calling me Shirley. Doubtlessly this lie is perpetuated by the Frozen Corn & Carrot Council.

But Crabby is not heartless. I am willing to concede that some people, mouth breathing troglodytes no doubt, would like to have a vegetable choice at Thanksgiving. So today I bring an elegant option. The fact that it uses one of Mother Nature's most repellent vegetables only serves to display my beneficence as well as the wisdom and glory of frozen peas; but I digress.

Today I give you Brussels sprouts in maple mustard sauce. Eeeeeooooo! Brussels Sprouts! Yuk! Yes, well, while I agree with that assessment, SSSal thinks I'm being too harsh. The sauce in this recipe does a great job at masking the flavor of the sprouts, so it works out for everyone involved. SSSal gets the sprouts she so enjoys and I get a sauce that at least makes them palatable. Enjoy...


Braised Brussels Sprouts in Maple - Mustard Sauce
from, Vegetable Dishes I Can't Live Without by Mollie Katzen

2 TBSP Olive Oil
1/4 cup minced onion
4 cups (approx. 1 pound) Brussels Sprouts, cleaned and halved lengthwise
Salt to taste
5 TBSP water
1/4 Dijon mustard
2 TBSP good quality Maple Syrup (the real thing if you can get it)
Fresh ground Pepper, to taste

Place a medium sized skillet over medium high heat. After 1 minute add the olive oil and swirl to coat.

Add the onions and saute, 3 - 5 minutes, until they just begin to soften.

Add the Brussels sprouts and salt, saute for an additional 5 minutes.

Sprinkle in the 5 tablespoons of water, shake the pan to distribute and then cover. Cook over medium heat for 7 minutes, or until the Brussels sprouts are fork tender. Note: Don't peek until the end of the 7 minutes. You may need to add more water and re-cover the pan if the sprouts aren't quite done.

While the sprouts are braising, using a small whisk, mix together the mustard and maple syrup in a small bowl. When the sprouts are fork tender add the sauce and stir to coat.

Transfer to a bowl and serve with freshly ground pepper.


There you go, pretty easy all in all. I have three suggestions for this recipe. First, I found the mustard a bit overwhelming, cut it back to 1/8 of a cup if you're not a big Dijon fan. Second, and I think that this would make a huge difference, instead of braising in water, use some champagne. It would add a nice dimension to the dish. Third, don't let the sprouts sit in the sauce for too long before serving, they turn "gloppy" pretty fast.

OK, crablings, a fast post with only a week to go before the big day. I know the pressure's building, but just remember, you can do it, you can cook. Next time, Bird Talk.

Leek, Mushroom, Bacon & Buttermilk Bread Stuffing - Thanksgiving Prep #5

OK crablings, we're getting down to the wire regarding Thanksgiving prep and I have to get you two more recipes after today, as well as present you with an overall plan. So something has to give. That something is going to be the more involved stories surrounding the recipes.

I know, I know, I feel your pain, but some problems are bigger than our own happiness. I promise, full blown, even over-blown stories will return, but for the next few posts it's strictly business. So let''s go.

Today we're going to prep what has become the official Crabby household stuffing. It has undergone a fairly large number of adjustments over the years. SSSal always wanted to have a more "upscale" stuffing, this idea met with a great deal of resistance, especially when this particular recipe did not initially display the gravy absorptive powers that Crab Nation demanded.

Number one this stuffing is not cooked inside the bird. I have no interest in overcooking the turkey just so I can be assured I've routed any potential salmonella from the stuffing. This is good news. The stuffing can be prepared ahead of time and baked alongside the bird. You get all the crispy goodness and none of the possible Pepto moments.

Number two, this recipe appeared in the November 1998 issue of Bon Apetit. While a good stuffing, it lacked enough bread to act as an adequate gravy transport vehicle, so our recipe now employs a great deal more buttermilk bread.

Finally, I'm told that this recipe could easily be made into a vegetarian friendly side dish by eliminating the bacon and by using vegetable stock. Though why you'd want a vegetarian friendly stuffing served next to roast turkey is beyond me. Anyway, here we go, enjoy...

Leek, Mushroom, Bacon & Buttermilk Bread Stuffing
from Bon Apetit, November, 1998 with many adjustments by SSSal and the Crabby family.

1 1/2 loaves of store bought buttermilk bread (approx 36 ozs. total), crusts trimmed and cut into 1/2 " cubes
1 pound of sliced bacon, cut into 1/2 " pieces

4 TBSP grapeseed oil
5 cups chopped leeks, (white and a small bit of the green parts), approx. 4 large leeks
1 1/2 pounds button mushrooms cleaned and chopped
12 oz. shitake mushrooms cleaned and chopped
1 cup celery, chopped
1 TBSP dried tarragon
Salt & Pepper to taste
2 large eggs, beaten
1 cup low-sodium chicken broth
2 TBSP butter

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spread bread cubes onto 2 cookie sheets and bake until dry, approximately 15 minutes. Remove from oven, cool and then transfer to a large bowl.

Saute bacon in a large pot until crisp. Transfer bacon to paper towels to drain. Pour off rendered bacon fat.

Add 4 TBSP grapeseed oil to pot and heat over medium-high. When hot but not smoking, add leeks and white button mushrooms; saute until just beginning to soften, about 5 minutes. Add shitake mushrooms and saute an additional 5 minutes. Add celery and saute for 5 more minutes.

(Bread, vegetables and bacon can be prepped one day ahead, though they must be stored separately.)

Mix the bacon, vegetables and tarragon into the bowl containing the bread cubes. Season generously with salt & pepper. Mix beaten eggs into stuffing. Add approximately 1 cup of broth to the stuffing mixture and stir well to combine, (Note: you want to just moisten the stuffing, not turn it into a slurry. If you're using more bread then you may need to use more broth).

Return oven to 350 degrees. Generously butter a 15x10x2 inch baking dish. Add the stuffing to the baking dish in an even layer.

Take a piece of aluminum foil large enough to cover the baking dish and butter the surface that will come into contact with the stuffing. Cover the stuffing with the foil (butter side down) and bake for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, remove the foil and bake for an additional 30 minutes or until golden brown and crunchy on top.


Whew! This may seem a little fussy but in actual cooking it's really very simple. The result is a great way to move gravy. How many servings is this? I have no idea! I once watched a teenage male bi-ped consume half the baking dish by himself; I would think that this is enough stuffing for 12 (with very few leftovers).

Next time a vegetable and then the bird itself. I'll be back soon crablings. Just remember, you can do it, you can cook Thanksgiving dinner.

Beef Short Ribs in Chipotle & Green Chile Sauce, and The Politics of Change

A week ago I'd planned on a political post but I got sidetracked with a rant about early onset Christmas caroling. A couple of you asked about that story.

Back in the late '90s the Crabby family was living in Minnesota, with SSSal working for the worldwide leader in transport refrigeration. The company was set up much like the automobile industry with manufacturing taking place in centralized locations and sales and installation being the responsibility of individual franchisees. SSSal's position required her to meet with individual franchisees from time to time.

At the time, Minnesota was going through a period of political upheaval. Well not upheaval actually, more like raging indifference. A governor's campaign was in full swing; the electorate was demanding, well suggesting anyway, "change".

Their prayers were to be answered. From the prairie rose a candidate unlike any before him. Actor, athlete, Navy Seal, professional wrestler: Jesse "The Body" Ventura. With a combination on unapologetic straight talk and a take-no-prisoners attitude, Ventura would engineer a grass roots victory that in today's world of sterilized and sanitized candidates is incomprehensible.

Minnesotans were giddy and a bit bemused. Not only had they "shocked the world", they could now proudly display their "My Governor Can Beat Up Your Governor" bumper stickers.

Right after the election, SSSal was visiting a franchisee in the deep south. The original owner was a gentleman well into his 90's. His sons had taken over the business, but he always insisted on having lunch with anyone who visited from headquarters.

He sat next to SSSal during the meal and besides introducing himself, said little. During a lull in the conversation, her turned to her and asked if she was from Minnesota. "Yes, yes I am", she said. He said nothing for a few moments, then looked up at her and matter-of-factly said, "Y'all got a wrassla for a guvna." He turned back to his dessert and didn't say another word all day.

Some candidates are polished to a high sheen, others are more gristle and bone. Here's a recipe for all you "wrasslin' guvnas". Enjoy...


Beef Short Ribs in Chipotle & Green Chile Sauce
from Bon Apetit, January 2003

Rub

1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
5 pounds, meaty beef short ribs (Rule of Thumb: 1 Pound short ribs/person)

Mix the first five ingredients in a large bowl. Massage rub into both sides of the ribs.

Cover and refrigerate for at least 1 hour and preferably overnight.


Beef Ribs Recipe

2 TBSP Olive Oil
1 1/2 cups chopped yellow onion
6 large garlic cloves, minced
28 ounces low sodium chicken broth
1 cup drained canned diced tomatoes
1/4 cup lime juice
1/1/2 TBSP chopped canned chipotle chilies

3 large fresh Anaheim chilies, stemmed seeded & cut into 1/4 " rings
Chopped fresh cilantro for garnish
Lime Wedges


Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Over medium-high heat, heat olive oil in a dutch oven or other large ovenproof pot.

Working in batches, making sure not to crowd the pot, brown ribs on all sides, about 5 - 7 minutes per batch.

When all the ribs have been browned, transfer them to a plate. Reduce heat to medium and add onions and garlic, cover and cook until onion is soft, stirring occasionally, about 5 minutes.

Add broth and bring to a boil, scraping up any brown bits in the bottom of the pot.

Add tomatoes, lime juice and chipotle chilies (Note: If you like your meals on the mild side, drop the amount of chilies to a 1/2 tablespoon).

Return ribs to pot, meaty side down. Arrange the ribs in a single layer. Bring the mixture to a boil; cover and transfer the pot to your oven. Cook ribs for 1 1/2 hours.

After 90 minutes, remove ribs from oven; using oven mitts, tilt the pot so you can spoon off accumulated fat, (Note: Short ribs are fatty, there will be a fair amount of fat floating on the surface. I use a ball baster to suck up as much fat as I deem reasonable. There will be some fat left in the pot!).

Place pot over medium heat and simmer uncovered for 20 minutes or until the sauce coats the back of a spoon, (Note: I have made this recipe a few times. Sometimes nearly all the liquid boils away in the oven and I add more broth on the stove top. Sometimes the vegetables don't quite disintegrate and I use a stick blender to make a rough "rustic" sauce. Learn to improvise).

When the sauce reaches your desired consistency, add the Anaheim Chile rings and simmer an additional 10 minutes, or until the rings soften.

Serve in large bowls, garnish with chopped cilantro and a lime wedge. You can serve this meal with warm crusty bread, garlic mashed potatoes, or my celery root brandade. WWBob suggests an Australian Shiraz, you want a lot of fruit to complement the spiciness.


OK crablings, another inexpensive but flavorful meal to add to your arsenal. I can hear the thundering feather beats of Thanksgiving approaching. Next time I'll post the Crabby household stuffing recipe. Until then, remember, you can do it, you can cook.

Mushroom Ragu & Other Arguments

SSal and I have been married for more than 24 years now. During that time we've had our share of "disagreements", some louder than others. One of the loudest came the Monday before our wedding.

I hate asparagus.

Church booked, invitations sent, reception menu set. Or so I thought. As many of you know, once the male has "popped the question", his function and position in wedding planning effectively evaporates. A groom is essentially like a kitchen fire extinguisher, everyone knows you should have one, but keep it out of sight until it's actually needed.

My father-in-law hates broccoli.

For four months the menu had been agreed upon, a choice of forgettable chicken and rice or vapid beef with twice-whipped potatoes, everybody gets broccoli. Four months, right there on the menu, broccoli.

The last month of wedding planning is a death march; truly a victory of hope over experience. By the last week any and every issue is stressful and ultimately pointless. Everything is fodder for World War III.

Broccoli.

Monday night before the Saturday reception, SSSal calls and tells me, "We've switched from broccoli to asparagus".

What?

"Broccoli to aspa..."

No.

"What?"

No!

After having spent 6 months being invisible, ignored, eviscerated and emasculated in the planning process, I'd had enough. This Crab was not having asparagus at his wedding. If you want asparagus at your wedding find another crab, because this ones not coming!

It still ranks among the loudest arguments we've ever had. My sister-in-law-to-be had to call up singing "you say tomato, I say to-mah-to, so let's call the whole thing off".

SSSal and I still argue about food. Take today's recipe, SSSal loved it, I thought it turned out way too sweet. Maybe as a confirmed grouch I'm just hyper-sensitive to sweet. Here's a mushroom ragu recipe that everyone else seemed to like. While SSSal made her own spinach-ricotta ravioli (with CrabCake2's help), you could serve this with store bought ravioli or just over regular pasta. Enjoy...


Mushroom Ragu
from Everyday Italian by Giada De Laurentiis

1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1 large onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 pound mixed mushrooms (cremini, shitake, oyster, white button) chopped
Salt & Pepper
1/2 cup Marsala wine
2 sups chicken broth
1/3 cup heavy cream
5 fresh basil leaves, chopped
1/4 cup flat leaf Italian parsley, chopped
1/2 to 3/4 cup grated Parmesan

In a large skillet heat the oil.

When almost smoking, add the onions and garlic over medium-low heat until the onions have wilted, about 8 minutes. Add the mushrooms and season with salt and pepper.

Raise heat to high and saute until mushrooms are tender and all the liquid has evaporated.

Remove pan from heat and pour in Marsala. Return pan to stove and allow wine to evaporate, about 3 minutes.

Add chicken broth and simmer for 1/2 hour until the sauce has reduced by half.

Add heavy cream and mix well.

Take the pan off the heat and add the fresh herbs and Parmesan and mix thoroughly.

Serve over pasta, this evening we served it over homemade spinach and ricotta stuffed ravioli.


I found the Marsala to be exceptionally sweet. I tried squirting a little lemon juice over my pasta and it helped a little. Next time I think I'll eliminate the Marsala and substitute red wine or maybe add a cup of diced tomatoes, we'll just have to experiment.

That's it for now crablings, as always, remember, you can do it, you can cook.

Oh by the way, we served green beans at the reception, my father-in-law still hasn't forgiven me.

Celery Root, Fennel & Potato Mash - Thanksgiving Prep #4

Today I had planned on writing about another momentous political event from ten years ago. But as I was traveling the highways and byways of town today, I came upon an evil so pernicious, so hellish, that I had to change my plans.

Today I am here to enlist your support in eradicating a blight on our society. Yes, fair citizens of Crab Nation, the moment has come to rise up as one and to shout, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take it this anymore".

I am of course speaking about the ludicrously early appearance of Christmas Carols on the radio. It is a beautiful day here in the American Midwest, high clouds on what sadly promises to be the final day of Indian summer. Imagine my horror when I turned on my car radio and came across the cloying treacle that is "Jingle Bells".

If that weren't bad enough, this particular station has been playing "holiday classics" since October 31st. That's right, for the last 8 days people have been implored to deck their halls, while mothers, in full sight of their children, have been incited to smooch with a home-invading Santa Claus. Worse yet, the weather outside isn't frightful and I certainly don't want it snowing any sooner than it has to.

BAH, Humbug!

It's not that I hate Christmas mind you, I just hate it in October, before we've even gotten a whiff of Thanksgiving. October 31st to December 25th is 56 days. 56 days!!! Applying the same math we should start seeing Valentine's Day adds on December 21st, and you'd hear about Labor Day sales beginning June 10th.

ENOUGH!!! Stop it!!!



There, I've vented; out with the bad air, in with the good. All I'm asking is, can't we give Thanksgiving a chance?

The transition to today's recipe would have made a whole lot more sense if I'd written the political story, so you're just going to have to bear with me. Today's recipe qualifies as a more sophisticated version of mashed potatoes, or it can also be used as a warm hors d'oeuvre. It won't take to gravy as well as my garlic mashed potatoes, but it should satisfy any gravy ignoring philistine you may have invited to dinner. Enjoy CrabbyScrooge's....


Brandade of Celery Root & Fennel
Gourmet magazine, October 2008

1 large celery root (celeriac), peeled and cut into 2 inch pieces
2 large fennel bulbs (1 1/2 lbs total), stalks discarded, bulbs quartered
1 pound boiling potatoes (2 large), peeled and cut into 2 inch pieces
2 TBSP fresh lemon juice, divided
1 whole star anise, ground
4 large garlic cloves, minced (about 1 1/2 TBSP)
1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
2/3 cup heavy cream
2 TBSP chopped fresh parsley

For Croutons

1 garlic clove, smashed
1/2 to 3/4 cup olive oil
9 (1/2 inch thick) slices good quality white sandwich bread, crusts removed and cut into triangles


Put the vegetables in a large steamer rack in a large pot. Sprinkle with 1 TBSP of lemon juice.

Steam over boiling water, covered, until very tender, about 20 minutes

While vegetables are steaming, finely grind the star anise in a spice grinder.

Cook the garlic in a small heavy duty skillet over medium-low heat, stirring, until fragrant and just starting to color, about 3 minutes. Add cream and bring to a simmer.

Puree the steamed vegetables in a food processor or in the pot using a stick blender. As the food processor is running add the star anise, garlic mixture, remaining tablespoon of lemon juice, 1 1/2 tsp salt and 3/4 tsp pepper. Process until smooth.

Sprinkle with parsley. Serve hot or at room temperature.

Croutons

Heat smashed garlic in 1/2 cup of oil, that's right a 1/2 cup, in a large heavy-duty skillet over medium heat. Cook for about three minutes until fragrant. Remove garlic from pan.

Fry the bread triangles in the oil. Work in batches, without crowding the pan. Each batch should take 1 - 2 minutes, turning the bread pieces halfway through.

Transfer to a paper towel to drain and if necessary add more oil between batches, making sure to allow the oil to heat up for 2 minutes prior to restarting the frying process.

Note: You might be tempted to skip the croutons as too much work or too much fat, this would be a mistake. Try the croutons once, chances are I won't have to encourage you to try them again.


OK, I'm better now. Sometime soon I'll post the political story, but until then, just remember, you can do it, you can cook.

Ho, ho, ho indeed.

Cranberry Sauces - Thanksgiving Prep #3

A black silhouette in front of a white screen moving from left to right; the telltale outline of a chef's toque and apron. Suddenly a rolling pin appears on screen menacingly taking aim on our hero; in a flash of crab-like reflexes, a saute pan flies at the bad guy knocking him silly. Henry Mancini begins to play.



The name's Cook, Crabby Cook.

Martini's, shaken not stirred, caviar and the '90 Bollinger. Suave, debonair, envied by men, irresistible to women, agent 00CC cuts a dashing figure as he prepares his way through the world's finest recipes.

When the time comes for the "CrabbyCook Story" to be made into a movie it seems only reasonable that the current James Bond should play the lead role. I also think we'd need to bring back enchantress Octopussy as the evil antagonist, after all, crabs HATE octopi.

The title? Well in honor of the new James Bond film, I think "A Quantity of Sauces" has a nice ring to it don't you?

So, in further preparation for Thanksgiving, here are two, yes that's right, two, cranberry sauce recipes. One was described as "sophisticated" by Gourmet Magazine, (I found it more work than it was worth). The other is a bit more traditional. Of course, in the continuing spirit of full disclosure, Crabby prefers and only consumes Ocean Spray Jellied Cranberry Sauce. Furthermore this sauce must be ejected from the can as a whole log with ridges intact. But, if you're looking for something homemade and involved, then enjoy...


A Quantity of (Cranberry) Sauces
from Gourmet, November, 2008

Cranberry, Quince & Pearl Onion Compote

1/2 lb pearl onions (preferably red; approx 2 cups)
2 cups apple juice or cider
1 cup sugar
2 TBSP cider vinegar
6 cloves
1 tsp coriander seed, ground
2 quinces, peeled, cored and cut into 1/2" cubes
1 (12 oz.) bag of fresh or frozen cranberries (not thawed if frozen)

Trim root end of each onion and cut an "X" into each. Blanch in boiling water for 1 minute. Remove from water, allow to cool slightly, then peel.

Bring juice, sugar, vinegar and spices to a boil in a medium sized heavy duty saucepan. Stir until sugar is completely dissolved.

Add onions and quinces and simmer, uncovered stirring occasionally until tender but not falling apart, about 30 minutes.

Add cranberries and simmer 7 minutes. Discard cloves. (This is a pain but necessary - be sure to count out the cloves so you know how many to extract) Transfer fruit and onions to a bowl using a slotted spoon. Boil the remaining syrup, if necessary, until reduced to 1/2 cup.

Pour syrup over compote and cool to room temperature. Can be made up to 3 days ahead; be sure to warm to room temperature before serving.


Cranberry-Tangerine Conserve

2 tangerines (oranges are acceptable in a pinch)
1 (12 oz.) package fresh or frozen cranberries
1 tsp grated peeled ginger
1/2 cup golden raisins (chopped roughly if large)
2/3 cup packed light brown sugar (more if you like a sweeter taste)

Peel a 4 by 1 inch strip of zest from 1 tangerine, making sure to only take the rind and none of the white pith.

Squeeze 1/3 cup of juice from the tangerines.

Bring juice, zest strip and remaining ingredients to a boil in a heavy-duty medium sized saucepan. Stir until all the sugar has dissolved. Simmer uncovered until the berries have burst, approximately 15 to 20 minutes.

Remove from heat and allow to cool completely. Discard the zest before serving.

The conserve can be made 2 days ahead.


There you go - a couple different cranberry sides to accompany the one true Ocean Spray. The "sophisticated" compote recipe does take some prep work, but gives an interesting flavor. The more traditional conserve recipe should satisfy the sweet-sour tooth of most of your diners.

Until next time crablings, remember, you can do it, you can cook.

P.S. I toyed with the idea of basing this post on the premise of the old television show, "The Fugitive", but somehow writing about a crab on the lam just sounded silly.

Stuffed Pork Roast; Vote For Me and I'll Set You Free

As far as I'm concerned the most damning word that can appear on a ballot is incumbent.

Politically speaking, Crabby considers himself a moderate but indifferent anarchist. If I were to have a slogan for my political approach it would be: "Vote the bums out before they can screw up any more". Of course, each side thinks their bum does a good job, and it's only the other bums who are messing things up.

Sure.

I can hear you all now, "But Crabby, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are saddling up, Global Warming, Economic Meltdown, War & Famine are about to ride roughshod over us all, how can you be so glib?". It's not that I don't care what happens politically, but ultimately a choice of candidate seems to come down to which pocket I want my money taken from.

But here's the irony, as disenfranchised and cynical as Crabby is, I still love the process. I still pay attention to what the candidates say, I still vote every election. I still, may Neptune have mercy on my claws, believe in the system.

So, with Tuesday fast approaching, please get out and vote. I don't care which party you support, I don't care which candidate you think will lead us out of this particular wilderness. I do care that you speak your mind using your ballot. Remember, if you don't vote, you've got no right to complain.

As we approach the apex of the political season, what better meal to prepare than some overstuffed pork. In the spirit of full disclosure, (Crabby does not want to become the subject of some political hatchet job) there was supposed to be a mustard cream sauce with this meal, but it was disastrous, (too much mud-slinging I guess). So enjoy...


Pork Loin Stuffed with Apples, Apricots and Dried Cherries
by Crabby

2 pound Pork Loin Roast
1 Tart Apple, such as Granny Smith, diced
1/3 cup diced dried apricots (prunes also work well)
1/3 cup diced dried tart cherries (raisins may be substituted)
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 teaspoons brown sugar
1/4 cup Calvados
1 TBSP Butter
Salt & Pepper

In a medium sized bowl, combine the apple, apricots, cherries, brown sugar, cinnamon and Calvados. Mix well and refrigerate for as long as possible up to 24 hours, (if you only have an hour, go for it, but the longer the flavors have to combine, the better).

Preheat your oven to 325 degrees.

Remove your pork loin roast from the refrigerator and place flat on a cutting board. Note: many supermarkets/butchers sell pork loin roast, netted with two pieces of loin wrapped together. This is NOT what you want. You want a single piece approximately 2 inches high in the center, four inches wide and six to eight inches long.

Holding a chef's knife horizontally (parallel to the cutting surface), make an incision into the pork roast at the center of the loin. Repeat from the other side. You do not want to cut the loin in half, you want to form a pocket inside the meat. Set aside.

Remove the fruit mixture from the refrigerator. Over medium-high heat melt the tablespoon of butter in a small saute pan. When the butter stops foaming, add the fruit mixture and cook until slightly softened, approximately 5 minutes. Set aside and allow to cool for ten minutes.

Now using a wooden spoon, though I find my hands do a better job, stuff both incisions with fruit mixture. Try and get as much of the fruit in as possible, while minimizing the amount that falls out of the ends of the roast.

Place stuffed pork loin in a roasting pan and bake for one hour. After an hour, remove from the oven, transfer to a cutting board and lightly cover with foil, allowing the meat to rest for 15 minutes before slicing.


There you go crablings, both candidates are promising "change", just don't expect any back from your tax dollar. In the meantime prepare your own "pork-barrel" meal and remember, you can do it, you can cook.